Alexithymia

Alexithymia: Difficulty experiencing, identifying, describing our feelings. This is common with autism and ADHD.

My emotions can be buried deep under the surface, then bubble up suddenly, engulfing me.

I can feel nothing, and compartmentalise my feelings. I lock them up in a box, and do whatever I can to feel something. Often for me, that’s a high adrenaline activity.

Six weeks after my teenage son died, I played bass ukulele and sang. This was at a large event in my village, amplified all over the park to thousands of people. I could have pulled out, everybody would have understood.

A couple of months later, I was triggered by lyrics in the middle of a song in a work choir performance, and was sent home sick, an absolute mess. This led to a major breakdown, and I needed two months off work with depression.

#Autism #ADHD #AuDHD #Neurodiversity #Alexithymia #MentalHealth #Depression #LivedExperience #Bereavement