Sharing pronouns

Charlie specifies her pronouns in their auto-signature, on social media, in meetings.  

Here is what her pronouns mean to them and why she shares them, in Charlie’s words:

“She/they”, sometimes expressed as “she/her or they/them”, means that I do not mind being referred to using the traditional female pronouns or gender-neutral alternatives.  Although I do identify as “female”, and I am not trans nor non-binary, neither am I gender-conforming and I never have been.  Always the tomboy, my preferred name has always been Charlie rather than the Charlotte that is on my birth certificate. In fact, I recently changed my name to Charlie.

I do not hate the name Charlotte, my parents named me after the author Charlotte Bronte who I love, but I just do not feel like a feminine name fits me. I have felt this way since I realised as a small child that I feel exactly the same about my name and gender as the character George (Georgina) does in the Famous Five books by Enid Blyton.

Due to my preferred name, Charlie, sometimes people who I meet through work make assumptions about my gender (“ooh, I was expecting a man” they often say, making assumptions based on my voice or appearance, after previously making assumptions based on my name). Communicating my pronouns can be helpful, as that can spare blushes on both sides.

More recently I have started to identify with the terms “auti-gender” and “neuro-queer”, as I acknowledge that my gender experience and gender expression are intrinsically linked with my autistic neurotype.  I have never been comfortable with gendered terms such as “ladies who lunch”, or “girls’ night out”, preferring inclusive events and mixed gender company.

Lastly, I always try to be a good ally to all members of the LBGTQIA+ community, including the trans and non-binary community.  Normalising the sharing of pronouns is an allyship quick win, an easy way we can all help them feel more comfortable and included.