This Mental Health Awareness Week, I have no paid work, but I plan to publish free content about mental health every day.
YouTube (4 minutes) for Speakers Collective
Transcript: I’m Charlie and I am neurodivergent.
That means neurologically different; my brain is not standard issue.
Some of my neuro differences I was born with, others I acquired.
I was diagnosed Autistic aged 42.
Then Complex PTSD aged 46.
Then ADHD aged 48 (3 weeks after this video was made).
Before my Autism diagnosis, I experienced ‘Anxiety states’ and depression, on-and-off for 15 years! Treatment was usually a month off work, with beta-blockers to stop the physical symptoms of anxiety, SSRIs to lift my mood, and NOBODY tried to identify the underlying cause of my mental health challenges!
I felt like a failure, unable to make sense of why others seemed to cope easier with aspects of day-to-day life that I found overwhelming.
Why did I flunk university, despite being intelligent and a fast learner?
Why was meeting people so nerve-wracking?
Why do I so often seem to say the wrong thing, in the wrong way, never fitting in, an outsider?
And where did those uncontrollable rages come from?
I share my lived experience of mental health and neurodivergence, as telling my stories helps me process trauma. It also helps other neurodivergents, diagnosed or not, feel less alone, less broken.
Maybe it can help those who have struggled realise there may be a mitigation, a valid reason. I found diagnosis validating, life-changing even.
I am lucky I feel safe to talk about my neurodivergence and mental health without fear of being mocked. I have thicker skin, that comes with age.
When I was younger, in my teens and twenties, mockery and critical words cut me deeply. I internalised harsh words, and they would come back to haunt me, morphing into self-limiting beliefs.
Or I’d lock the memory in a box, and kick it to the back corner of my mind, until unexpected triggers smash it open.
I needed to talk, to find comfort and reassurance, but I did not know how.
When I say ‘talk’, that does not necessarily mean speaking out loud.
This is important!
Spoken conversation can often be inaccessible to autistic people in mental distress.
Some may be situationally non-speaking.
I struggle to form coherent sentences.
When I am in a bad place, I do not want my friends to make unexpected visits or phone me.
When they notice that I am not my usual self, my friends message me, or invite me out to run or walk. Undemanding, no intense eye contact.
An ebb and flow with comfortable pauses. THAT is accessible to me.
And their role?
To listen with curiosity and compassion.
To avoid diminishing my struggles but if they want to share their own anecdote, to show they relate, that’s fine.
Yes, it is good to talk, if we have somebody to talk to in a way that is accessible and comfortable to us, someone with an open mind and an open heart.
#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek #CPTSD #PTSD #Neurodiversity
Ausome Charlie 